Serendipity

The act of discovering something fortunate while one is looking for something entirely different.

A fortunate accident.

My entire life has been serendipitous. Call it fate, call it God's will, call it destiny. I call it serendipity because it sounds cool.

My entire life I've been searching for something - for success, for happiness, for a life with meaning. Searching for who I really am. I did this by trying to do the "right" thing. I went to college, I studied hard, I decided I wanted to help people.

I wasn't looking to be a chef or to go to culinary school. I wasn't searching for the life I have right now. But I found it - or it found me. Through a series of fortunate accidents, coincidences, and "right place @ the right time" moments I am here now. I found what I was never looking for. Thank God.

i am serendipity

I love being a mom

Since I'm pretty much the only person I know who doesn't have a child to brag about via blog world I decided I would post up pictures of my cat baby and brag about how darn cute he is.

Yeah I'm turning into a creepy cat lady and ya know what folks.... I don't really care all that much :)

Anyway this is my kitty cat, Geoffrey

Well, thats his name unless I'm talking to my old roommmate and then his name is Andrew Scoggan haha.



Yes, okay I know usually people don't dress up their cats... but its just so hilarious to see a cat in a t-shirt!



Or sometimes a lei...



welp thats all for now.

wow what a lame post

Painter Song - Norah Jones

If I were a painter
I would paint my reverie
If that's the only way
For you to be with me

We'd be together
Just like we used to be
Underneath the swirling skies
For all to see

And I'm dreaming of a place
Where I could see your face
And I think my brush
Could take me there

But only....

If I were a painter
And could paint a memory
I'd climb inside the swirling skies
To be with you
I'd climb inside the skies
Just to be with you.


I am seeking closure somewhere in all this and am unsure where I will find it. God brings me comfort...nothing brings closure. Grandma loved Norah Jones....she's been playing on repeat constantly at my house. My mom's house too.

I feel so guilty. I'm not at home with my family. But I know grandma wants me here and I know she doesn't want me to cry but I'm just so sad.

I am lucky that at 23 I've never lost anyone close to me until now. But I'm also now an adult with no idea how to deal with death. I just wish I had been there with my mom and her at the hospital. I wish I weren't sitting alone in chicago trying to figure this all out.

I'm just so sad.

Goodbye

I lost my best friend today.

And the world lost and amazing woman.

God gained my grandma in heaven.

Leah Halene Boudreau
10.29.1921-06.23.2008

I'm gonna miss her so much but at least my heart was ready.

w o w

How did I get here?? No seriously how did this happen? This moment in life seems unreal. Last summer at this time I was working at a summer camp, going to UIC about to enter my last semester - all while pondering if a bachelors degree in psychology would really make me happy.

Impulsively I decided it wouldn't.

I didn't register for classes, I didn't go back to uic, I decided to live my dream.

I started culinary school....

Now, less than a year later I've just landed a job in one of the most well known restaurants in chicago.

The Signature Room @ The 95th

Tomorrow is my first day and it absolutely feels like a dream. I never thought I'd really be here. Every time college used to get hard and stressful I'd say I was gonna drop out and open a restaurant. Well I dropped out alright...and no I don't own Signature Room but they own me so its close enough.

I've been trying to be calm about this. To keep telling myself its not that big of a deal. But its a Chicago icon and now I'm a part of it. Surreal.

I'm finally happy.

Today my mom told me she's proud of me.

That's the best part.

So, that's my news and I just want to say thanks to all my friends and family who've been so encouraging of my dream this last year. You all are my inspirations and the reasons I love cooking in the first place.

You all brought me here.

the good life

Can I just say I love naps? I took one today and it was lovely.

And I had chocolate soy milk - yummy

Ohh and I can't stop listening to shawn mcdonald....love him. Soo chill. And his testimony is amazing. Wow.

Today was definitely a low blood pressure day. Yay.

Back to reality soon I'm sure. But for now I'm gonna sit here smiling over shawn and my choco milk before bed :-)

Road Ahead

I stress over evvverything. Seriously, I'm my own worst critic, especially when it comes to my art - food. I was up til 1am stressing over menus last night and got up at 430am to stress some more. I know every single flaw in the food I made today. Ugh.

I guess its a good thing in some ways. I definitely have no ego....a lot of chefs do....not cool.

But it leaves me exhausted....all that criticism swirling in my head. Hopefully it will just make me the best chef I can be.

Tomorrow is probably my last day as the breakfast chef @ a B&B I've been working at for about a year. Cool place, no pressure, tourists who base their "best breakfast experience" on the last time they were at Denny's...its fun. I get to use my creativity and play around with recipes and make up specials. But, I've outgrown it I guess. Gotta keep moving up and moving on and improving my skills.

I'll miss it.....sometimes......ok well I'll miss some parts/people a lot. Other parts I'm sooo relieved to be done with.

Maybe they'll let me come back as a "guest chef" occasionally?

I guess I should go have a sage ceremony....I'm about to embark on a big new journey.

Wish me luck

And success would me nice too :-)